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This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.Jessica later introduced me to yet another awesome friend in San Francisco, and once again, her friend and I ended up having amazing chemistry.Jessica and I met up as friends, without any overt attempts at wooing, courting, or sleeping with one another. She came to understand my background story and my relationship goals and preferences ( talk about these things all the time), and I learned about hers.It’s why wing[wo]men are so amazing to have around.It’s why people are far more likely to connect with you on dating apps when you have friends in common. We need to remember that friendship is never a means to an end.

The friendship-first approach centers around sharing fun and memorable experiences with the people we meet, and seeking to learn their stories and their preferences, free of any overtly sexual or romantic expectations.

We kept things friendly and fun rather than expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away.

By not overtly expecting sex, commitment, or even compatibility upfront, and instead focusing on just creating a series of fun, memorable experiences, we had implicitly set the precedent for a approach to dating.

As an online dating consultant and matchmaker, I’m a strong believer in the power of these referral networks.

After going on over 150 dates, trying out over 100 dating websites, and advising hundreds of individuals at all levels of dating experience, one thing consistently stands out to me: .

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