Sex too early in dating
Otherwise, it's just another set of rules to control us.
If you’ve been physically intimate with a man and then had him disappear on you or fizzle out after a few passionate nights, I know how horrible that can feel.
My question to you is about sex – Does having sex too early destroy our chances of having a real relationship? Thank you so much.” Merlin, Los Angeles, California.
Hi Merlin, That’s a brilliant and supremely relevant question and I will straight away get to the answer.
It is a fantastic thing that we have sexual freedoms – if a woman desires sex on a first, second, third or thirtieth date; I wholeheartedly believe there’s no reason to feel bad about that.
And this is the real problem of modern day “sexpectations” – okay perhaps no one’s going to actually force you into it. The onus is very much on you to provide some kind of watertight explanation.We now have the freedom to say yes, but not to say no.Rachel explains, “It's likely that the three date rule was invented to put guidelines around appropriate female sexual behaviour; have sex on the first date, you're a slut. “What's interesting is that it doesn't just tell us when is too early to have sex.“I knew he wanted to, so I just did it.” “I felt like I’d want to at some point…so I thought I might as well do it now.” “I didn’t want him to lose interest.” “I didn’t want him to think I was a tease/frigid.” These are just some of the reasons single women I know have given for having sex before they really wanted to.